http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/blog/ Latest Blogs http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/it-happened-to-me-i-told-my-boyfriend-i-was-born-a-boy/ This essay originally appeared on xoJane.com, Jane Pratt's new website where you can admit to anything -- no judgement.

When I was a kid I had a seri...]]> This essay originally appeared on xoJane.com, Jane Pratt's new website where you can admit to anything -- no judgement.

When I was a kid I had a series of dreams that involved Immature. You know, that baby boy band starring Roger from Sister, Sister?

Anyway, my dreams usually involved group member LDB (Little Drummer Boy) singing "Never Lie" to me in the tree that stood in front of my window.



Since then, I've sat across from many men on dates and wondered what their fantasies were. By then mine always involved them really liking me and me playing the distant, mysterious girl they couldn't quite figure out.

Really, it was more about me not getting too close. Because if I got too close, you see, I'd have to tell him my "T."

Oh, I keep forgetting you may not be the T, so you may not know my T or what T is at all.

My T is basically my story, my story being that I'm a young woman who happens to be transgender. Still not getting it?

I was born a girl but in a boy's body, as media headlines tend to scream when telling stories like mine.

Being trans, I've grown up with the understanding that most women are born girls, yet some are born boys. And most men are born boys, yet some are born girls. And if you're ready for this, some people are born girls or boys and choose to identify outside our society's binary system, making them genderqueer.

Regardless, I was born me, and in order to be me, I had to take many steps to affirm my me to myself, my family, and the world around me, and then, once I dealt with my gender change as a teenager, to the men I dated.

And this is where it gets tricky, and for some trans women, even dangerous.

Though many guys I've dated do not and may never know the gender history of the girl they randomly made out with on St. Marks (this is a whole 'nother post!), I have relayed my story to a select few. But there is only one man whom I wanted to tell my story to from the very first night we met.

It was early Easter morning 2009, and I was tipsy from shots that a pair of British soccer players kept bringing me and my girlfriend. We were at some bar on the Lower East Side, and I was twirling on the dance floor.

"This is my song," I remember saying frequently. It was that kind of night.

In the midst of my tipsiness, I felt someone looking at me. You know that feeling when you sense there's a singular focus just on you? That's what it was.

As I turned around, I saw the guy, this handsome, handsome man with skin the color of caramel popcorn and almond-shaped eyes. His beauty, to me, was right out of my mind's own sketch pad.

He was a fantasy come true, and I wanted him to want me.

"Hey," he said as I pushed curls out of my face, serving him my very best angle. "I really want to talk to you, but I gotta pee. Will you wait for me?"

Will I wait for you? Fuck yeah.

I nodded, rushing back over to my girlfriend and the two soccer studs. Quickly powdering my T-zone and applying a coat of lip gloss, I was ready to do my whole mysterious, hot girl routine.

But when he came back over, he threw me: "Take a walk with me."

I found myself out on the cold streets, walking beside this beautiful stranger into a coffee shop on Houston. We had lattes and a cinnamon roll. He told me he was from North Dakota; I told him I was from Hawaii. He told me he took photos and trained dogs for a living; I told him I was an editor for a popular website. He told me he hoped to have horses someday; I told him I wanted to tell stories that matter for a living.

It's the kind of exchange only two people who are willing to fully be seen can share. It was natural and life-shifting.

I could feel the mystery I had so tirelessly built around me fall, until I was just me.

He kissed me on the cheek and put me in a cab, where I received his very first text: "You're a complete pleasure. -Aaron."

In the next month, Aaron and I went on a series of casual dates (the New Museum, a Tribeca Film Festival screening, the opening night of J.J. Abrams' Star Trek), before I found myself on his bed, naked -- figuratively, that is.

"I have something to tell you," I remember saying.

Aaron stood at the foot of his bed, readying himself for disappointment, it seemed to me. Or at least that's what I internalized.

How do I say this? I asked myself.

"OK, let me just say it: I was born a boy."

I didn't look at his face while spouting off the details of my journey through genders as a kid: "I knew I was a girl from my very first thoughts... I began presenting as female from age 12... I took hormones in high school... I flew to Thailand to have surgery at 18."

When I finally stopped talking, I exhaled. I'd finally told my whole story to someone I was falling for. And I was afraid that my biggest fear would come true: Aaron would look at me differently.

And it did come true.

I could no longer just be Aaron's fantasy, a mixed girl with curly hair from Hawaii with a master's degree and a job that "a million girls would kill for." Our fantasies had ended, and now we were just two people bare in front of one another.

"Can I hug you?" Aaron asked.

And it was then that I went into the ugly cry. For the first time in my young life, I was being seen, fully seen, as the totality of my experiences.

Fast-forward a few years, and Aaron is now my guy, the man I order dinner with every night, the one who grudgingly sits beside me as I watch every Real Housewives franchise (except for Orange County), the one who questions my newfound love of neon-pink OCC lip tars.

Most importantly, he's the one who doesn't want me to be a mystery -- not to him, at least. He wants to know me, to ask me questions about my past, force me to retrace steps that have made me the woman I am today. He's also the one who pushed me to begin fulfilling my dream of writing stories that matter: my own, my forthcoming memoir.

We're real together, and Aaron and the friendship and love affair that we've built is my foundation, a platform that has fortified my own sense of self and has, in the nearly three years since we met on that Lower East Side dance floor, given me the strength to step out of my shadow and come forward as a trans woman, lending my story as one of many narratives on what it means to be a young woman who happened to be born a boy.

Aaron is better than my tweenage fantasies, better than the dreams I had of some boybander singing to me in a tree, better than anything I could've written for my protagonists.

He's better because he's real, because he exists, because he wants more than just the idea of me. He wants me.

Read more from Janet Mock at janetmock.com.


Follow Janet Mock on Twitter: www.twitter.com/janetmock]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/it-happened-to-me-i-told-my-boyfriend-i-was-born-a-boy/ Wed, 14 Dec 2011 15:15:33 +0000 Greg http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/rick-ross-blames-lack-of-sleep-for-his-two-recent-seizures/ Weeks after suffering a pair of seizures while traveling to a show in Memphis, rapper and hip-hop mogul Rick Ross has opened up about what caused his ...
Speaking with BET last night on '106 & Park,' the Maybach Music CEO blamed his illness on the demands of running a successful record company. He said it's been years since he's enjoyed a solid eight hours of sleep.

"Being the fastest-growing label in the game, wanting to be the number-one label in the game, it come with a lot of sacrifices, and in my case it was sleep," Ross said, according to BET.com. "I would get two hours of sleep and keep moving, you know what I'm saying? Being a hustler -- and that has to stop."

Prior to the BET taping, Ross hadn't appeared in public for more than two weeks. Since the Oct. 14 seizures, which occurred on two separate flights, the Miami native has been taking it easy -- something the workaholic has undoubtedly found difficult, given that he's got a new album, 'God Forgives, I Don't,' due out on Dec. 13.

"I just been relaxing, spending time with my family, my loved ones, and just taking a chill for a little," he told BET. "I'ma just make sure I get me some some naps here and there and I'ma get my sleep in."

He assured fans that doctors have given him a clean bill of health, and that he's going to take better care of himself in the future.

"Coming from where I come from, coming from the hood, and being put in the position [I'm in], it makes no sense to become a multi-millionaire and not be here to enjoy it with your family and your loved ones," he said. "I'ma stay focused and I'ma make sure I do the right thing."]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/rick-ross-blames-lack-of-sleep-for-his-two-recent-seizures/ Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:58:48 +0000 Greg http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Alexis/blog/to-be-young-black-gay-and-glamorous-in-chicago-s-ball-scene-by-elly-fishman/

Something better than you are today

To be young, black, gay, and glamorous in Chicago's ball scene

Look around everywhere you turn is heartache

It's ever...]]>

Something better than you are today

To be young, black, gay, and glamorous in Chicago's ball scene

Look around everywhere you turn is heartache

It's everywhere that you go

You try everything you can to escape

The pain of life that you know

When all else fails and you long to be

Something better than you are today

I know a place where you can get away

It's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for, so—

Come on, vogue

Let your body move to the music

—from "Vogue" by Madonna and Shep Pettibone



It's 1 AM on Saturday, May 21. A tall black man stands alone in the shadows of a storefront at the corner of Madison and Cicero on the west side, wearing jeans that hang off his waist and a tight white T-shirt that clings to his muscular build. The headlights of passing cars illuminate his face: bright red lips, fake eyelashes, rouged cheeks. Cell phone in hand, he talks a caller through an alley to the back of a community center and the unmarked, bouncer-guarded entrance to Family Affair.

Family Affair is a ballroom competition—part of a national, underground LGBTQ phenomenon that builds community around queer identity and fierce, fashion-conscious striving. Balls are held nearly every weekend on the far south and west sides. Most happen at ungodly hours in unmarked spaces, which keeps them self-selecting and also helps organizers avoid the expense and permit hassles of more public social events.

Unseen by most outsiders, ballroom is a haven for well over 1,000 young, gay, Chicago black men whose sexuality can make them outlaws and targets in their neighborhoods. Ballroom poses its own, significant dangers. The stakes are high for ballroom competitors, and physical fights are common, sometimes leading to stabbings. The threat of gun violence is a growing fear.

But it also offers beauty, belonging, and even a sort of advanced education. The community's slang for the competitions is "getting your life."

At Family Affair, around 150 male-identified men, drag queens, transgender folks, and born women (whom ballroom participants call "allies") stand in clusters in a big, carpeted room, waiting for the competition to begin. Fluorescent lights run the length of the ceiling. Noise ricochets off walls covered with graffiti tags that read "Rebel fever," "I am change," "Never conform," "We demand life," and "AIDS is a fact."

Along the back, participants in leotards and knee-length skirts stretch like dancers at the bar. Men vie for scarce mirror space in the ladies' room—applying makeup can take hours. Some attendees (whose gender remains ambiguous even under skintight dresses) slither through the crowd, flirtily greeting one another as "baby" or "bitch." Others who can't be more than 18 years old clench cigarettes and plastic vodka bottles. Outside, people sit on cars, passing blunts and draining beer cans before dropping them to the pavement.

At around 2 AM, the ball starts full tilt. A techno beat drops and the crowd instantaneously forms a horseshoe around the room's center. "Ball it!" they chant to the beat. "Ball it!" Some step to the center to strut as the MC shouts their names into a microphone.

THE CHICAGO BALLROOM SCENE can be traced back to the 1920s. As southern blacks poured into what became known as Bronzeville during the Great Migration, a sizable gay community emerged. Interracial drag balls followed. In 1935, one transplant, a gay street hustler named Alfred Finnie, launched a series of drag events called Finnie Balls. Lasting into the 1960s, Finnie Balls became a south-side Halloween tradition and almost certainly Chicago's largest LGBTQ affair, attracting people of every sexual orientation from all over the city.

Like the Finnie Balls, today's ballroom competitions are partly a response to the fact that poor, black, gay kids have few places where they can mix with Chicago's broader gay community. Recent violence and protests in Boys Town suggest that that community is as racially and economically segregated as the rest of the city. But with segregation comes congregation, and balls are where gay black kids can find one another.

There are three types of balls: kikis, minis, and majors. Kiki balls are informal events with no cash prizes and no judges—usually just a gathering of friends. Mini balls are larger, with 100 to 150 participants and $200 to $500 cash purses. Major balls may attract as many as 500 competitors vying for up to $1,000. They're judged by panels that generally consist of Legends—ballroom veterans and leaders in the community. In the ballroom scene, you climb in status from Star to Statement to Legend and ultimately to Icon.

Every ball has a theme, from the kitschy ("'Thriller,'" "Entertainment Tonight," "Horror Movies") to the morbid ("Dubai Suicide"). A theme outlines costume requirements, or "effects." An effect for a recent military-themed ball read, "Bring it as an amputee"—i.e., all competitors had to perform as if missing a limb. Family Affair is looser than most; it has no effects. Participants are just encouraged to dress creatively.

Competitors "walk" in categories. The category called "Up in Pumps" tests how well they locomote in heels. "Fashion Labels" requires that they be cloaked in a single, premium brand name from head to toe. "Face" is a beauty competition stressing pinched noses and high cheekbones. Others are "Best Dressed" and "Glitz and Glam."

"'Schoolboy Realness With a Twist' is my category," says Justin Dixon as he stretches against a grafittied wall. A handsome, doe-eyed 21-year-old from Gage Park, Dixon studies criminal justice at Kennedy-King College by day. He's known as Buddha Omni in the ballroom scene. "First you walk as a regular schoolboy, meaning you try to pass as a boy and you're not clocky"—a clocky gay man being one who attempts to create a heterosexual facade but is still easily identified as gay. Dixon's Family Affair costume consists of a stocking cap, low-hung basketball shorts, and a gray ribbed undershirt. "The twist," he adds, "is when you later walk in the ball as a gay boy and vogue."

Vogueing is a competitive dance style that borrows techniques from krumping, break dancing, and jazz and modern dance. It's attributed to Willi Ninja, who started competing in the Harlem ballroom scene in the 1980s. He's also been cited as an inspiration for Madonna's "Vogue," which became a sensation on MTV in 1990 and popularized the style for a mass audience.

A competitive vogue dancer in Chicago today has to hit five elements: spins, dips, hands, catwalks, and dovewalks. Spins are pirouettes that land in a dip, which is a drop to the floor from a standing position on an eight-count beat. (Dips are the dramatic climax of a vogue performance; when competitors do them, onlookers yell "Ow!" and extend an arm as if throwing dice.) "Hands" refers to drawing lines and shapes in the air with your arms during a catwalk, which is the same thing as a model's runway walk. Dovewalking is moving across the floor in a crouched position—a kind of cross between Chuck Berry's duckwalk and traditional Kazakh folk dancing. "It's a challenging competition," says Dixon. "But it keeps you off the streets and keeps you doing something positive."

!By Elly Fishman at Chicago Reader!]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Alexis/blog/to-be-young-black-gay-and-glamorous-in-chicago-s-ball-scene-by-elly-fishman/ Thu, 18 Aug 2011 21:47:20 +0000 Alexis http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/6pack/blog/soulja-boy-s-21st-birthday-gift-to-self-55-million-g5-jet/ Ok I had to post this story because honestly this has got to me one of the most stupid, waste of money things I have ever seen in my life. Does this k...]]> Ok I had to post this story because honestly this has got to me one of the most stupid, waste of money things I have ever seen in my life. Does this kid seriously think he has this kind of money to be blowing on bullshit?

For his 21st birthday Thursday, the Atlanta rapper bought himself a $35 million dollar private jet, a rep from his management team reportedly told TMZ.



But apparently, the G5 jet needed some "Pretty Boy Swag" upgrades. According to reports, Soulja will be spending an additional $20 million dollars to add flat screen TVs, 4 liquor bars, a dozen Italian leather seats, Brazilian hardwood cabinets, and travertine tiled flooring.

The restroom will be remolded and enlarged, and the aircraft will get a new custom paint job featuring his logo.

A spokesperson for Soulja Boy had not responded to our request to confirm the jet purchase by press time.

On Friday, the "Crank That" rapper, will host a birthday extravaganza in Miami believed to cost $300,000. Sean Kingston, Bow Wow, and Dwight Howard are expected to attend. The event will be streamed live from SouljaBoyBirthdayBash.com at 11 p.m. eastern.

In April, Soulja Boy told Hip Hop Media Training that he was planning to team up with MTV for a Las Vegas-based bash. "MTV [is going to] be doing my birthday party. It's going to be in Vegas. I'm going to be in Vegas," Soulja Boy said. "MTV is going to be doing it just like I did my swag eighteenth party. I don't know. It's going to be my first time being 21. So I'm just gonna do me."]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/6pack/blog/soulja-boy-s-21st-birthday-gift-to-self-55-million-g5-jet/ Sat, 30 Jul 2011 17:29:05 +0000 6pack http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Erica_Caine/blog/singer-r-kelly-owes-837-000-in-delinquent-federal-taxes-r-u-serious/
The Detroit News reports that the 'Love Letter' creator owes $837,000 in delinquent federal taxes. The IRS filed the tax lien against the 44-year-old Chicago native on Jan. 6, 2010, with the Cook County Recorder of Deeds.

While the whopping amount is unsettling, it pales in comparison to the $1,036,858 tax lien against Kelly that the IRS lifted last month.

The lauded singer-songwriter, who holds 10 albums to his name and is a multi-Grammy winner, seems to have hit a rough patch as of late with his recent money troubles and health issues. Kelly was recently rushed to the hospital for emergency throat surgery, in which an abscess on his tonsil was drained.

Currently released, R. Kelly is on an indefinite hiatus from touring.

How does someone make this much money and end up owing the feds almost a million dollars is beyond me.]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Erica_Caine/blog/singer-r-kelly-owes-837-000-in-delinquent-federal-taxes-r-u-serious/ Wed, 27 Jul 2011 16:09:10 +0000 Bossy http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/rapper-rick-ross-aka-william-roberts-being-sued-by-the-real-rick-ross-for-1/ I had to post this story because I found it fascinating that Rick Ross whose real name is William Roberts not only has never been a drug dealer or any...
Miami's own notoriously portly rapper, William Roberts, who most of us know as Rick Ross, actually based

click to enlarge

this namesake off the persona of the real Rick Ross, a notorious California drug kingpin who made a coke-fueled fortune in the mid 80's. Ross (the real one) was eventually busted trying to buy 100 kilos of the stuff back in '96 and was sentenced to life in prison.
Last year though, he was released on good behavior and is now, apparently, not too pleased with our husky hustler, Rick Ross (the rapper). On June 18th, the former kingpin filed a suit in the Central District of California alleging Roberts used the Rick Ross moniker to build a profitable music career without the consent from the real Ross.

Continuing...

"...the suit claims that Universal Music Group, Slip-N-Slide Records and Maybach Music Group were all at fault. Jay-Z has also been included in the lawsuit because he was the president of Def Jam Records during the time Roberts released his first album under the name Rick Ross. If summoned, Jay-Z will have to appear in court."
William Roberts, coincidentally enough, worked as a correctional officer (pictured below) in Miami-Dade



County for 18 months before launching into the rap game with Slip-N-Slide Records. He denied any affiliation with the 5-0 and claimed the pictures were doctored. Then, as more evidence started piling up, he finally admitted that, yes, he was once a lowly prison guard.
Just so you know Ricky, this kind of denial-then-backtracking move does not hold up too well in court. Best of luck to you either way.

(via RollingOut)]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/rapper-rick-ross-aka-william-roberts-being-sued-by-the-real-rick-ross-for-1/ Sun, 24 Jul 2011 16:54:50 +0000 Greg http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/AlexJackson/blog/tires-slashed-on-gay-pride-parade-floats-in-chicago/ Police have confirmed that dozens of floats that were supposed to make their way through Boystown today in the Gay Pride Parade had their tires slashe... It happened at longtime Pride float provider Associated Attractions, at 4834 S. Halsted St., The Windy City Times first reported.
Owner Chuck Huser told the Times the floats were fine when he left at 8 p.m. last night. But when he got in around 6 this morning, 51 floats -- every float at the facility, and all of them destined for Pride -- each had two tires slashed.
"This is catastrophic," Huser told the Times. "This has never happened before, and we have been doing this since 1989."
Huser told the paper he thinks this was a hate crime, designed to sabotage the Pride Parade.
He's scrambling to get the tires fixed by noon, when the parade is scheduled to kick off at Halsted and Belmont.
The Times reported the start of the parade might be delayed because of the crime.


Source: http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Tires-Slashed-on-Chicago-Gay-Pride-Parade-Floats-hate-crime-124563044.html#ixzz1QOoGy7Bc]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/AlexJackson/blog/tires-slashed-on-gay-pride-parade-floats-in-chicago/ Sun, 26 Jun 2011 16:12:16 +0000 Alex Jackson http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/david-tyree-if-gay-marriage-bill-passes-our-country-will-slide-toward-anarc/
In a recent interview with the National Organization for Marriage, former New York Giants wide receiver David Tyree has some s...]]>
In a recent interview with the National Organization for Marriage, former New York Giants wide receiver David Tyree has some strong words for his stance on opposing gay marriage.

“If they pass this gay marriage bill ... this will be the beginning of our country sliding toward — it’s a strong word — but anarchy. The moment we have, and if you trace back to other cultures, other countries, that will be the moment where our society itself loses its grip with what’s right. ... Marriage is the backbone of society, so if you redefine it, it changes the way we educate our children, it changes the perception of what is good, what is right, what is just,” Tyree said in a videotaped interview.]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/david-tyree-if-gay-marriage-bill-passes-our-country-will-slide-toward-anarc/ Fri, 17 Jun 2011 00:29:28 +0000 Greg http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/brandon_williams/blog/tracy-morgan-cried-to-russell-simmons-over-gay-slur-5-comments-by-jo-piazza/ EXCLUSIVE: Tracy Morgan was genuinely devastated when he learned that he had hurt people with the anti-gay jokes in his comedy routine in Nashville, R...
"He was so happy to hear my voice. He had been crying. He was really devastated," Simmons tells us. "He spilled his guts to me."

When he heard about Tracy's joke saying that if his son was gay he'd "stab him", Simmons felt it was his job as a pro-gay marriage supporter to set him straight (no pun intended).

"The sad truth is that sometimes artists and rappers say what people in their community are thinking. I knew that Tracy was a person who wants to make people laugh and that he said what he said because in the communities he plays to there is homophobia. It is prevalent," Simmons said.

Now Simmons says Tracy must use his platform to eradicate homophobia. Simmons, who takes activism very, very seriously, told us that he genuinely believes that Morgan will take this on as his personal cause.

"He said to me, 'I ain't got s--t to do and I want a cause.' He says he wants to work for GLAAD and that he has found a calling and a cause and I believe he is sincere," Simmons said. "People have to learn and be educated and Tracy is a guy who comes from a community that is homophobic which is why he can be so helpful."

Also on PopEater: Why No Outrage for Sexist Rant During Same Routine? | Chris Rock Backtracks

Morgan told Simmons that he wants to attend a gay marriage rally.

"I believe everyone deserves the right to be happy and marry who they want to; gay, white, black, male or female. Let me know where the rally's at Russ. I'm there!," Morgan said according to a transcript of their talk which appears at Simmons' Hip-Pop website, Global Grind.

Next week, Morgan is traveling to Tennessee with GLAAD and Simmons to meet with those offended by what he said and make a public statement of support for the LGBT community.

In a somewhat more unorthodox strategy, Morgan also wants to scream GAY from his car windows until someone engages him in a dialogue down there, Simmons tells us.

It's going to be fascinating to see just how this one turns out and whether or not Tracy will be more or less effective in his campaign for gay rights.

Heres my 2 cents: Why is it that so many people regardless of who they are make some really stupid comment without actually taking the time to think of the impact it will have, people they hurt, damage to their career and that some times its just best to shut the hell up if you don't have any thing good to say?]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/brandon_williams/blog/tracy-morgan-cried-to-russell-simmons-over-gay-slur-5-comments-by-jo-piazza/ Tue, 14 Jun 2011 14:50:39 +0000 Brandon http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/brandon_williams/blog/tracy-morgan-8220i-8217d-kill-my-son-if-he-was-gay-8221/


Well, well, well look at what we have here, it looks as though our former “hustle man,” Tracy Mo...]]>


Well, well, well look at what we have here, it looks as though our former “hustle man,” Tracy Morgan, is really a homo-phobe. According to TMZ, Morgan went under fire after going on a gay rant during a show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Tenn. last week. Morgan reportedly began firing off about how:

“Gays need to quit being p*ssies and stop whining about something as insignificant as bullying.” Oh really, Tracy?

Morgan then went on to say:

“Gay is something kids learn from the media and programming.” In regards to his son ever possibly being gay Tracy added that he’d, “better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I’ll pull out a knife and stab that little n**ger to death.” But he didn’t stop there, to add insult to injury he added, “I don’t f*cking care if I piss off some gays, because if they can take a f*cking d*ck up their a*s, they can take a f*cking joke.”

Morgan has fired off in the past referring to homosexuality as a “choice.” While I understand that we all have opposing views in regards to the LGBT community, I was always told that there is a time and place for everything. Personally, this was simply not the time nor place and some personal views need to kept to themselves.

What do you guys think about Morgan’s homophobic rant, do you feel he was justified or no?]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/brandon_williams/blog/tracy-morgan-8220i-8217d-kill-my-son-if-he-was-gay-8221/ Sat, 11 Jun 2011 16:26:44 +0000 Brandon http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/brown_sugar/blog/gospel-singer-slims-down-and-comes-out-dejuaii-pace-who-s-on-the-new-addict/


This was DeJuaii Pace's reality and factored into why she ignored her same-sex attraction for so long. In fact, the 45-year-old, who's also a virgin, never discussed her lesbianism with her family, including her eight sisters -- seven of whom, along with her, make up gospel's the Anointed Pace Sisters. That changed during a taping of the new OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network show Addicted to Food, which premieres Tuesday night.

Pace, a compulsive overeater, is one of eight eating disorder patients (both over- and under-eaters) at treatment facility Shades of Hope in Buffalo Gap, Texas. With the help of therapists, the patients try to find the root of their food addiction, heal it and become mentally and physically healthier.

Pace, who started gaining extra weight when she was 21, says that her big secret contributed to her overeating and that food was a substitute for intimacy. The gospel singer talks to The Root about her weight-loss journey, her virginity and homosexuality in the black church.

The Root: Before you taped Addicted to Food, had you ever shared with anyone that you were attracted to women?

Dejuaii Pace: When I joined my church about 15 years [ago], because I wanted to be up front with my pastor, I told her that the attraction was there but I was denying that I was attracted to that [gay] lifestyle. I acknowledged it to myself in 2006 when I really took a deep evaluation of my life.

I was not married, was not dating and had not dated. And I was like, why is it so? And I just took a deep look at myself and realized that I've not been attracted to men ever and had just been friendly with them. At the end of the evaluation, I told myself that I had to acknowledge it.

I didn't tell anyone [in my family] I was a lesbian until December 2009, when I felt sick and tired of my life and wasn't happy. And I told one of my friends. I said, "Listen, I need you to help me to come out, because If I'm going to be happy, I've got to face this thing." About 98 percent of my friends are in "the lifestyle," and they knew I was struggling with it.]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/brown_sugar/blog/gospel-singer-slims-down-and-comes-out-dejuaii-pace-who-s-on-the-new-addict/ Wed, 08 Jun 2011 19:03:02 +0000 Brown Sugar http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/atltrainer/blog/hidden-gay-life-of-macho-hip-hop-stars-a-former-mtv-executive-reveals-a-hom/ Paul Harris in New York
The Observer, Sunday 11 May 20



American rap music is an industry ruled by machismo. It is a place where reputat...]]> Paul Harris in New York
The Observer, Sunday 11 May 20



American rap music is an industry ruled by machismo. It is a place where reputations are made by shady pasts, the aura of violence and ultra-masculinity. But now an explosive new book is lifting the lid on one of hip hop's most unexpected secrets: that many people in the business are gay.

Terrance Dean, a former executive at music channel MTV, has penned a memoir of his life and times in the hip hop industry as a gay man. It is an explosive exposé of a thriving gay subculture in an aggressively male business, where anti-gay lyrics and public homophobia are common.

Perhaps not surprisingly, many in the industry are nervous about the book's publication this week, fearing that it will expose some of the top black names in music and Hollywood as secretly gay. But Dean said that his memoir was not intended as a way of outing famous people. 'I was never tempted to name any names. The book is not about outing people. I wrote it so that people realise the industry has a gay subculture and we are part of this music,' he said.

That gay hip hop subculture certainly seems to be thriving. Dean's book describes a world where many industry executives and some artists are leading secret gay lives, which are often obvious to everyone but rarely talked about. And, despite using some false names, the book contains enough information so that it will undoubtedly spark off a frenzy of speculation as to who some of the characters are in real life.

For example, Dean describes 'Lola', a singer who is a lesbian and had to keep her sexuality secret. And 'Gus', a male rap artist who appeared on television in typical 'gangsta' style yet hid a secret gay life. Then there are the other hints of big-name celebrities close to the hip hop business who are also gay. They include 'Lucas', a married A-list movie star, and 'Kareem', a leading sitcom actor.

Dean hopes that by bringing out his book he will allow a leading hip hop figure to come out as gay and thus pave the way for the notoriously homophobic industry to come to terms with its secret side. 'Within the next year I believe a major artist will come out. They are going to have to be brave but I think they can do it,' he said.

That is no understatement. Leading hip hop artists such as Eminem, DMX and Ice Cube have all been targeted by gay activists for using homophobic lyrics. One of Eminem's songs famously included the line: 'Hate fags? The answer's yes.' In his book Dean describes a world in which hip hop stars and executives often berate and denigrate homosexuals, and the use of the word 'faggot' is common place. He says that too often he let such abuse pass by, and writing a memoir was a way of making up for that. 'I am a part of this culture. I was getting by, saying it's OK when those things are said. But then I realised they are actually talking about me too,' Dean said.

There are signs that things are changing. Several leading rap artists, including top seller Kanye West, have admitted that homophobia is rampant in the industry and they have spoken out against it. West had previously spoken out against gay lyrics. There are also a handful of openly gay rappers such as Deadlee, who has held national US tours of his music and appeared on television to talk about his sexuality.

Dean, however, hopes that hip hop will soon put its homophobia behind it. He says the music changed dramatically from hip hop's roots in nightclubs and parties to a celebration of urban violence and gang life as 'gangsta rap' became the norm. Homophobia grew up alongside that musical shift as most successful artists used songs that idolised guns, drugs and crime. 'We need to get hip hop back to those party roots and away from the gangsta rap culture,' he said.

However, Dean's book shows that heterosexual rappers clearly have no monopoly on tough upbringings. Dean's book is a searing description of a tough childhood on the streets of Detroit, ironically also the home town of Eminem. His mother was a prostitute addicted to drugs who later contracted HIV.

Dean eventually suffered a childhood sexual assault from a male babysitter and ended up serving jail time in Nashville for stealing a car.

If homophobic rappers are looking for a dubious sense of 'authenticity', then they can just as easily find it in Dean's background as in the most masculine of gangsta rappers. But for Dean his purpose in writing the book was simply to shine a rare light on the most shadowed corner of some of the most popular music in the world.

'Everyone knows. It is not a secret in that sense. It is just that people do not talk about what goes on in private and who is sleeping with who. Now I hope a mainstream artist will have the courage to soon come out,' he said.

One of the things that I always find interesting is the stories I hear about the number of gay rappers and sports figures, what im curious is to how big the percentages really are. I honestly suspect its far more then the 5% or so especially if you look at the WNBA, Tennis, etc. Would love to hear others thoughts on this.]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/atltrainer/blog/hidden-gay-life-of-macho-hip-hop-stars-a-former-mtv-executive-reveals-a-hom/ Wed, 08 Jun 2011 18:30:51 +0000 Atl Trainer http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/new-study-shows-black-gay-men-think-masculine-men-are-less-likely-to-have-h/
Are we the kind of boys/men we want?

According to a new study by John’s Hopkins University, the answer is no.

The new study, conducted as a series of i...]]>
Are we the kind of boys/men we want?

According to a new study by John’s Hopkins University, the answer is no.

The new study, conducted as a series of interviews with 35 young/teen Black men who have sex with men ages 18-24 shows that they:

Almost exclusively prefer romantic and sexual partners they perceive to be masculine.
Reluctant to allow a man they consider to be feminine to “top” them during sex.
Allow men they perceive to be more masculine to control the terms of what kind of sex happens, including condom use.
Consider masculine men to be less likely to have HIV, and feminine men to be more at risk.
According to the CDC’s last published incidence data from 2006, “among all black MSM, there were more new HIV infections (52%) among young black MSM (aged 13–29 years) than any other racial or ethnic age group of MSM in 2006. The number of new infections among young black MSM was nearly twice that of young white MSM and more than twice that of young Hispanic/Latino MSM.”

This study, while a very small sample, is interesting for several reasons. First, this study, unfortunately, speaks to the ways in which misogyny is very present in Black gay men’s spaces. Anyone who’s ever seen Black Gay Chat or Adam4Adam or any of the other outlets where Black gay men frequent for dating or sex, these notions about masculinity are abound. People still frequently post requirements about “must be masculine” or “no fats no femmes.” I am always curious about what does masculine mean? 50 Cent?

Michelangelo Signorille wrote a book many years ago called Life Outside, which dealt with the muscle and “straight acting” obsession in white gay male culture–and the ways in which muscle culture was used to also signify healthy and not having HIV, whether that was true or not, and I would say Phillip Brian Harper’s book Are We Not Men? is one of the closest Black gay books dealing with this issue. It was a reaction to AIDS and the more femme and androgynous aesthetic of the 1980s (like Boy George and George Michael for white gays, Sylvester, Prince and Jermaine Stewart for Black gays).

For white gay men, they often use sports imagery like “athletic” or “jock” to connote the kind of hypermasculinity most desirable. For Black and Latino gay men, that same hypermasculinity is expressed in hip-hop terms– the “thug” and “downlow (not necessarily as bisexual but as able to pass as heterosexual to other black people in public).” Most other kinds of black queer male aesthetics (afro-punks–as in punk rock, afro-centric, bohememians/neo-soul, Buppies, etc) are always trumped by hip-hop notions of masculinity.

But this study also points to the ways in which womanhood, or in this case, femininity, or one’s proximity to it, marks one as the vector of disease, as promiscuous, having dangerous sexual desires, and more deceptive of their partners. It’s similar to the ways in which women are most often blamed, and sometimes killed for the spread of HIV when straight men contract the virus.

This study points to a need to go beyond individual behavior models for preventing HIV, but undoing structures that impact people’s vulnerability or the contexts under which people are making decisions. We have to really have to find ways of confronting and challenging misogyny in our society (across sexuality and gender identities) that disempower those who see themselves or are labeled as woman, femme, or feminine.

Will the re-emergence of Black queer men in popular media change how young black queer men view gender and desire?

I think Yolo Akili’s short video and poem “Are We the Kinds of Boys/Men We Want?” are the kinds of interventions we need for Black gay youth and for public health researchers which explores these issues of power, desire and gender for Black queer men to interrogate our desires.

Author Kenyon Farrow]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/new-study-shows-black-gay-men-think-masculine-men-are-less-likely-to-have-h/ Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:39:55 +0000 Greg http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/higher-hiv-risk-in-black-gay-men-linked-to-partner-choice-risk-perception/
The discrepancy has long mystified public health experts but a new study by investigators at Johns Hopkins and elsewhere now offers a possible explanation for it.
The study found that young black MSM -- a group that includes openly gay and bisexual men, as well as those who have sex with men but do not identify themselves as gay or bisexual -- select partners and judge these partners' HIV status in a specific way. These men show a clear preference for masculine men, while also equating masculinity with lower HIV risk. This dynamic, the researchers say, can help explain why young black MSM contract HIV more often than their counterparts from other races.
The results are based on interviews with 35 black men ages 18 to 24 who have sex with men. The most notable findings include an overwhelming preference for masculine partners, accepting masculine partners as dominant in the sex act and leaving to them decisions about condom use, perceiving masculine men as low risk for HIV and feminine men as high risk.
"There may be no difference in HIV prevalence between masculine-looking and feminine-looking men, but because black MSM perceive masculine men as lower risk, their sexual encounters with such men may make HIV infection more likely," said investigator Jonathan Ellen, M.D., a pediatrician and teen health expert at Johns Hopkins Children's Center.
In other words, even though young black MSM have unprotected sex just as often as others, they may be having unprotected sex in riskier ways with partners whose HIV status they often miscalculate, the researchers explain.
The findings offer new insight into how black MSM judge risk based on perceptions of masculinity and can help inform public health campaigns to reduce new HIV infections in this disproportionately affected group. The findings, the researchers say, can also guide safe-sex conversations between primary care physicians and patients.
Errol Fields, M.D. Ph.D., currently a resident at Boston Children's Hospital, was lead author on the research, which he conducted as a graduate student at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. Researchers from Children's Hospital Boston and Emory University also participated in the study.
The study was presented at the 2011 Annual Meeting of the Pediatric Academic Societies which is running April 30-May 3 in Denver, Colo., U.S.]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Gregory/blog/higher-hiv-risk-in-black-gay-men-linked-to-partner-choice-risk-perception/ Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:34:50 +0000 Greg http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Charles_Eccles/blog/hot-play-in-dc-please-join-us/ http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Battle/132454030151928

“The Battle” is a stage play created to show the devastating effects of personal choices. ...]]> http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Battle/132454030151928

“The Battle” is a stage play created to show the devastating effects of personal choices. Set in Washington, D.C., a city noted for having the highest rate of HIV and AIDS in the United States. A production that provides an artistic view of the different ways those inflicted with the disease choose to cope. “The Battle” shows the trials and tribulations that friendships and relationships endure as a result of the epidemic.]]> http://www.blackgayamerica.com/index.php?do=/Charles_Eccles/blog/hot-play-in-dc-please-join-us/ Mon, 06 Jun 2011 15:51:24 +0000 chrlsecls